Second Chance for Love Page 3

  Tears rolled down my cheeks and I was having trouble breathing. I stood my ground though. I wasn't going to let Keri make me feel bad about this. Maybe about leaving like I did, about not staying in contact, but not about my pain, not about my grief. I was hurting just as much as they were. And I had a right to grieve just the same too.

  “It’s okay, Keri. I got her.” Chase's voice sounded from my other side.

  “Get the hell away from her, you bastard!”

  I turned to Chase and looked helplessly up at him. He reached out his hand and I took it gratefully. Keri shoved him then her husband was pulling her away. She kept yelling, but thankfully I couldn't make out what she was saying. My mind was blank as Chase pulled me into his strong arms.

  I wanted to pull away, to run as quickly as I could, but my feet wouldn't move. I was already in much too deep. I wouldn't live through Chase tearing my heart out again. It would kill me. All I could do was pray that I wouldn't end up doing something I was going to regret in the morning.

  Chase gently led me away so the rest of the guests could say their farewells. We sat in the corridor of the church against the wall. I clung to Chase, even though I wanted to hate him. I shoved my doubts to the back of my mind, and just cried, taking comfort from Chase's embrace.

  Chapter 10: Chase

  My hands shook as I led Jetta to the hallway. She was a mess and her family wasn't making it any better. Keri had always been a bitch and I’d hoped she would’ve toned it down for her own father's funeral. I held Jetta tightly as she sobbed into my chest. There was something about having her close that felt right, even if she was close to me for all the wrong reasons.

  I ran my hand over her hair, trying to comfort her. I didn't say anything, because I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could say that would bring her father back. I wanted to apologize for what happened in our past. It wasn’t the right time though, and the words “I’m sorry” wouldn’t erase heartache. It wouldn’t change the fact that I was such an asshole. Nothing could ever change the past.

  I didn't want to move. Even though I knew Jetta was in pain, I selfishly didn't want the moment to end. For a few minutes I allowed myself to toy with what could have been. I imagined the world where Jetta and I were married. Where our fathers had been different men. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away.

  It was almost time for me to pick up Abby from school, but I knew I couldn't leave Jetta alone.

  “I have to pick up Abby from school,” I whispered against her hair.

  “Okay,” she said, pulling away.

  “You can come with me. I'm just going to drop her off at Mom's this evening. I don't want to leave you alone while you're upset,” I told her.

  I could tell she was considering what I had said. Part of me wanted her to say no, because I knew come tomorrow morning we'd be different people. She'd be back to being angry at me, and I would remember what a dick I’d become over the years.

  She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. “I'd like to meet Abby,” she said.

  I helped Jetta up and we walked out of the church hand in hand. It felt as if time hadn't passed while we were apart. I would’ve liked to believe that we could pick up right where we left off, but I wasn't that stupid. Jetta turned loose of my hand and went off to thank the preacher for the service.

  I called Abby's school and told them I would be about fifteen minutes late because I was coming from a funeral. On the way there, we swung by and picked up Bosco. He rode in the backseat, because Jetta was afraid to have him ride in the back of the truck. I thought it was a bit odd to be so overprotective of a dog.

  “Abby will like sitting with him anyway. She’s a big animal lover,” I said to make conversation.

  “I saw you at the cafe with her. She looked really happy.”

  “She is for the most part. She’s always off in her own little world, which makes me worry,” I admitted.

  “I wouldn’t worry too much. All little kids do that.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” she said, rolling her eyes at me. “Maybe girls do it more than boys. Don't you remember pretending to be a superhero or something?”

  “No, my brother and I used to play cowboys and Indians though.”

  Jetta shrugged. “Same thing.”

  When I picked Abby up, I told her that she would be meeting my friend, Jetta before she went to her grandmother's. She seemed excited to meet someone new.

  “She has the big dog right?” Abby asked.

  “Yes,” I told her. “His name's Bosco. He’s a Golden Retriever. And he’s in the truck.”

  “Really? Can I get a dog?”

  “You already have a dog. At Grandma's house,” I said, taking her hand to cross the street.

  “But what about at your house, Daddy? Can I get a dog for there?”

  I sighed. “We'll see.”

  Chapter 11: Jetta

  It shocked me at how much Abby looked like Chase. When his blue eyes looked up at me out of this little girl, it took me completely by surprise. Abby talked excitedly about the type of dog she wanted to get, and about how pretty Bosco was.

  I was worried about Abby sitting in the backseat with him since he wasn’t used to children. To my surprise Bosco handled it pretty well. He let Abby pet him and scratch behind his ears then stuck his head back out the window.

  Chase was on edge for the duration of the drive and I could tell he was eager to hand Abby over to his mother. I wondered if he was always like that with her, or if today was different because of me.

  His mother invited him in for dinner and he refused. She looked at me with such disdain that it made me nauseous. Did she still hate me that much after all this time?

  I sighed in relief when we pulled out of the driveway.

  “She still hates me, doesn’t she?”

  “Mom doesn't like many people these days. If you're not Abby, you're evil.” He laughed. “She's been that way since her and Dad split.”

  “They split up?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah and then he cut me from the will,” Chase said as he pulled into the parking lot of the diner.

  My stomach flipped over and I felt a wave of anger wash over me.

  “What the hell?” I demanded, “After everything he put us through...”

  I was at a lost for words.

  “I know,” Chase said, shaking his head. “He’s a real jackass.”

  I could tell Chase didn't want to talk about it, but I sure as hell did. I’d spent the last six years in the city imagining him happily married and successful, making big money at his father's law firm. I knew Chase probably stood to inherit hundreds of thousands of dollars when his Daddy passed away.

  “What happened? What was his excuse for cutting you out of the will this time if it wasn’t me?” I refused to get out of the truck until he gave me some answers.

  “Look, Jetta,” he said. “I don't want to talk about it right now.”

  I crossed my arms and settled back against the seat. “Tough shit! I know you don't. Maybe I deserve some answers though. Especially since that stupid will was one of the main reasons you gave for dumping me!”

  “Fine!” Chase snapped. “He cut me out of the will because he blamed me for their divorce. Look, everything changed after you left.”

  “I want to know exactly what happened. I won't make you talk about it right now, but you’re going to tell me.”

  “At least let me get dinner first.”

  I stepped out of the truck and opened the door to the backseat. “Come on, Bosco.”

  Chase disappeared inside the diner and I sat down at the empty picnic tables outside. Bosco spotted a squirrel and I had to grab his leash to keep him from dashing after it.

  “I ordered your usual,” Chase said when he returned. “Or should I say what used to be your usual.”

  “The baked ham with mashed potato?”

  He nodded.

&nb
sp; I leaned down and scratched behind Bosco’s ear. “That sounds great about right now.”

  An awkward silence settled around us while we waited for our food. I was still angry though I wasn't sure exactly who I was angry at.

  “Thanks for saving me from Keri,” I said, trying to break the tension.

  “Not a problem,” he replied. “She's always been a head case.”

  “Believe me I know. And Chase…it's really good to see you again.”

  Chase looked over at me in disbelief.

  “I mean it. I'm still mad at you though. I'm still mad at a lot of people, but I'm glad you came to the funeral. I know you did it to support me and I appreciate it.”

  He nodded without saying anything.

  I wanted to close the uneasy gap between us. I needed to be closer to him. I wasn't sure whether it was because of my grief for my dead father, or the broken heart I still carried with me. My brain told me to run, but my heart refused to listen.

  We made small talk as we ate dinner. I laughed when I discovered Chase was sneaking bits of his dinner to Bosco under the table.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I couldn't have him sitting at the table and not eating. That would be rude.”

  I laughed again and remembered how Chase had always been able to cheer me up.

  I put my hand on his knee and smiled at him. He moved his chair closer to mine and I felt like a kid all over again. My heart pounded against my chest and my palms began to sweat. Bosco picked up my nervousness and began to whine and pace.

  “What’s wrong with him? Is he okay?” Chase asked.

  “He's just restless,” I explained, trying to concentrate on dinner.

  Chapter 12: Chase

  I could tell that Jetta was nervous during dinner and I didn't blame her. She didn't have one excuse to trust me, but she had plenty of reasons not to. After we finished eating we drove back to my house. Jetta sat in the middle and leaned her head on my shoulder. Her sorrow radiated through me and I wanted to be her hero again. The man who could always save the day. I didn't have powers of resurrection or a time machine, so I had to settle for just being close to her.

  Jetta fell asleep on the way even though the drive wasn't far from the diner to my house. Unwilling to wake her up, I sat in the truck watching the world around me change to evening. She looked so peaceful. So different from the last encounter of our youth.

  Like the biggest fool in the world, I’d walked away from her and left her in a heap of tears on the front lawn. How had life in the big city treated her? I looked at her hands and noticed they didn't show any sign of ever wearing a wedding ring.

  Jetta moved in her sleep, and her necklace fell from her shirt. I drew in a deep breath, feeling like someone had punched me in the gut. From the end of the old gold chain still hung my class ring. I couldn't believe that she was still wearing it after six years.

  I felt numb as I watched the sunset, the vibrant colors dancing across the sky. I entwined my fingers with Jetta and pulled her closer to me. As she slept, I made a silent promise to both of us. I would find a way to fix what had went wrong. I'd undo the damage whatever it took. Even if it meant we had to move to another state and change our names.

  “Chase.” Jetta finally mumbled and opened her eyes. “Did I fall asleep?”

  “Yeah. It’s okay though. You’re obviously exhausted from everything you’ve gone through.”

  She stretched her arms and rubbed the back of her neck. “You should have woken me up.”

  “You were sleeping too good,” I said, rotating my shoulder to get the blood flow back into my numb arm.

  She looked around for Bosco.

  “He's asleep in the back,” I assured her. “You ready to go inside?”

  Jetta looked at me and my eyes locked to hers. They were darker than I remembered, and spoke of more pain than I could’ve fathomed. Her hand gently touched my face and her lips hesitantly brushed against mine. My mouth moved slowly against hers, rediscovering a once familiar territory. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and my hands rested on her waist as my tongue parted her supple lips. Our tongues moved slowly together, testing the waters of the past.

  Jetta deepened the kiss, climbing into my lap. I could feel her confusion and also her desire. Her body was warm against mine as she clung to me. My teeth scraped against her lips and pulled away. I nibbled on her bottom lip and trailed my fingers up her spine. She shivered and I watched as goosebumps formed on her skin.

  “Chase,” she said, breaking the kiss. “I can’t. I'm sorry.”

  I didn’t say a word when she slid across the seat and got out of the truck. After taking a deep breath, I followed her.

  “Jetta.”

  “I can't do this again Chase! I just can't take the chance.”

  I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull her close, but she pulled away.

  “Please don't, Chase.”

  “Jetta, I want…”

  “It's always been about you, Chase, hasn't it? Your family! Your future! Your inheritance! What about me, Chase? When was it ever going to be about me?”

  “That's what I'm trying to say, Jetta! If you'd shut up and listen for a moment!” I snapped and instantly regretted it. I knew Jetta would never let me speak to her like that and get away with it.

  “Why the hell does everyone keep telling me to shut up? I think I've shut up for long enough! Six years I’ve gone without answers! Six years I’ve spent wondering if you were happy with that white skank you chose over me!”

  “Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “You always go and pull that damn race card! She's not just a skank, she's a white skank!” I shouted back.

  “Because that’s what she is!”

  “What does her being white have to do with anything? In case you haven't noticed, I'm white too!”

  “Oh, you think I didn't notice?” she asked, lowering her voice, letting me know just how angry she was.

  Any time Jetta lowered her voice it meant her blood was really boiling.

  “You think I didn't notice the one damn thing that doomed my entire life? Do you really think I'm that stupid?”

  I sighed and leaned back against my truck. “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

  “I'm going back to Mom’s house. Come on Bosco!”

  The dog jumped out of the truck wagging his tail, always up for anything.

  “Jetta, don't go, please,” I said, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt.

  “You should’ve said those words a long time ago, Chase.” She wrapped Bosco's leash around her hand. “Six years ago, I would have listened. I would have done anything for you, but right now, all I want to do now is get away from you.”

  “Jetta.”

  “What?” she snapped back.

  “I still love you.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  I watched Jetta go tense and stop walking. My heart pounded against my chest as I waited for an answer. I wasn't sure what to expect, and was beginning to feel pretty foolish by the time she turned around.

  “Fine!” she said, crossing her arms. “You want me to stay? Then you better start giving me answers.”

  “Can we go inside?” I asked. “The neighbors are beginning to stare.”

  “Oh, God forbid the neighbors know I'm here. That black girl you dumped years ago! Should I wait until after dark and then sneak inside the back door? What if they hear that you're creeping around with me again?”

  “That's not what I meant! You know I don’t care what they think.” I sighed. “Please stop putting words into my mouth.”

  She stomped toward the house. “Whatever. I don't care. Let's just go inside.”

  I let out the breath I’d been holding and unlocked the front door. “Thank you.”

  We sat at the kitchen table with Bosco at our feet and I told Jetta all the things she wanted to know. I told her about how my mother had never forgiven my dad for
pressuring me to marry Melissa, and how that ultimately led to their divorce. I told her about Melissa running off in the middle of the night and leaving Abby behind. I told her about having to learn how to take care of a toddler by myself. I told her everything that had happened since she left, without holding anything back.

  Jetta listened quietly as I spoke. I wanted her to say something, anything.

  Chapter 13: Jetta

  I wanted to say something after he told me everything, but couldn't find the right words. Things had been tough for him too. Truth was; it was his own damn fault. He could’ve had everything if he’d stayed with me. I would have given him all the love he could’ve wanted and much more.

  If Abby had only been our child...

  I stopped at that thought. She wasn't. She would never be. I couldn’t let myself go there.

  So many times I’d played that same scenario over in my head. If Chase and I had managed to stay together I would be a mother by now. It would be our little girl going to school and she would have her own dog. I would have made damn sure of it.

  Wonder what the hell was wrong with Melissa? I could never imagine running off and leaving my child the way Melissa had. She was a leaver. A name I’d been called many times over the years. In my case though, I only left after I’d been thrown away first.

  I stared at Chase feeling like an insensitive bitch. My temples were pounding and I felt like I should say something. I opened my mouth to speak. There was nothing I could say that would make anything different. What had happened between us was unchangeable. There might be a slim light of hope for our future, but I wasn't willing to hold my breath to find out.

  I let out a long sigh. “I'm sorry. I didn't know all that.”

  “It's not your fault.”

  “I know, I just…” I said, trying to explain what I was feeling.

  “It's okay.” He shrugged. “There's nothing either of us can say to make this better.”

  “I’m sorry things didn't work out.” As I said it, I wondered if I really meant it.